Thought we would join in the Thursday Thirteen fun this week - with a Diva Twist. Instead of 13 things directly about Me - I have thirteen celebrity facts I’ve run across this week and found to be interesting:

1. Here is a funny as hell video of Paris Hilton’s friend, Brandon Davis, TOTALLY dissing Lindsey Lohan, and Paris is smirking and laughing right along with him. He says things like: Lindsay’s movie bombed because “she is a firecrotch”, saying that “she’s orange, she’s not black or white — she’s orange.” He goes on to say that “she tastes like [Brandon’s] Turkish father’s asshole”. Hmm.. why does Brandon know what his father’s turkish asshole tastes like??? Oy!
2. Pictures of Katie Holme’s stretchmarks have been circulating around. She apparently let the paparazzi close enough to snap a picture of her stomach, rife with strech marks. The picture was taken at a baseball park when she was out and about with husband, Tom Cruise. Yet - - STILL no appearance of baby Suri. BUT! She has the stretchmarks to prove she was pregnant, just in case you were still wondering
3. Early reviews of The Da Vinci Code don’t sound very good. But, the reviews came out of Cannes - so it’s entirely possible if they hated it, I’ll probably LOVE it!
4. Janice Dickerson, the self-proclaimed “Worlds First SuperModel” (coughsputter) is counselling Britney Spears to DUMP KFED! Good advice, sister! She says, “I never found him hot at all. But she’s a hick anyway. She needs to get hot again. Stop clomping around in those Malibu flip-flops. … I would tar and feather her first of all, tell her to dump that [bleeping] hick husband of hers. She needs solid advice, and not from Hicksville“
5. Tori Spelling had a quickie shotgun wedding - some say she’s preggers. Et tu, Tori?
6. Pamela Anderson offers up orgasm tits tips - - just in case you needed ‘em.
7. Following on the heels of the RED American Express credit card, rock star Bono launched a new red mobile phone in the UK on Monday, sales of which are expected to raise hundreds of millions of dollars to fight AIDS in Africa
8. Here’s a few pics of Tori Spelling’s wedding ceremony to Dean McDermott. What do ya give ‘em? A year..more?
9. For the second year in a row, Desperate Housewives list of the most successful women in film, TV, music, sports and fashion. Jessica Alba is No. 2, followed by Lindsay Lohan, Angelina Jolie, Stacy Keibler (“Dancing With the Stars”), Scarlett Johansson, Cameron Diaz, Kate Bosworth, Keira Knightley and singer-actress Christina Milian.
10. Esquire Magazine reveals their sexiest woman of all time - in parts. Six of them. Who is it?
11. All the fuss about Denise Richards and Richie Sambora - - he came out last week and said he didn’t cheat on Heather Locklear with Denise while the two were together, and reports stated he dumped Denise in an effort to make this whole sordid mess go away. And yet, Denise Richards is joining Sambora on tour. Gee, just last week Sambora told his fans, “I am single and ready to party” . . . he doesn’t sound very on the market to me!
12. US Magazine reports that Britney Spears FINALLY gave KFED the ultimatum - - SHAPE UP OR GET OUT!! That’s one step closer to divorce.
13. Usually a meticulously stylish star, Jennifer Lopez spawned a fresh round of baby rumors when she showed up on the red carpet sporting gray roots (hair dye may be dangerous for women during their first trimester). But a source tells Us that the failure to cover up wasn’t because Gray.Lo is pregnant: “It was all down to scheduling a time to see her colorist.”
    “Jennifer has been gray for a long time,” adds another source. “This is nothing recent.” Click for the Grey.Lo picture

My apologies for my absence! Celebrity gossip and news doesn’t stop - even though the Diva may be too busy to jot it all down here at Diva Dish. Let’s see if we can’t get back on the ball, shall we?

Hmmmm… what happened in the world of celebs whilst I was away….

• Keith Richards fell down and broke his crown - he suffered a brain hemmorhage after falling from a palm tree. He apparently climbed the tree to get coconuts. I hope he’s ok - of all things that I thought would take Keith Richards life. . . coconuts wasn’t it.
• Britney is selling her Manhattan apt. for $4.5 Mil - takers, anyone?
• Denise Richards speaks exclusively to TMZ.com claiming SHE was the one who was betrayed! (you remember Denise - she used to be famous as a Vic.Secrets model and wife of Charlie Sheen . . now her claim to fame is sleeping with her best friends (Heather Locklear) husband, Richie Sambora of Bon Jovi)
• Why did Ryan Seacrest dump Terry Hatcher? He just couldn’t fake it anymore
• Nick Lachey expresses his total disinterest in Lindsey Lohan saying, “I can safely say that I don’t have any interest in Lindsay Lohan … nor do I understand anyone else that does”. Ouch.
• Courtney Love needs some class, and a wax job
• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie (aka Brangelina) clear up some of the rumors going around. Namely: 1.) Pitt is not trying to convince Jolie to join the cast of Ocean’s 13., 2.) Jolie is not looking to adopt a Namibian infant – at least not right now., 3.) The actress is not planning a “water birth” , 4.) Jolie’s ill mom, Marcheline Bertrand, is not near death and did not ask Jolie to give birth in France as a “dying wish.” , 5.) Pitt did not purchase for Jolie a “fidelity necklace” as a pre-baby wedding gift, 6.) They have no plans to marry, and 7.) Jolie is not planning to buy a small African nation of her own. - WHEW - aren’t you glad all THAT is cleared up??
• Geena Davis gets impeached
• Britney gets a babysitter . . for her HUSBAND! - Bwwwaaahahahahaha!
• Did Ashlee Simpson get a nose job?. She’s probably trying to look more like big sis.
• Is Anna Nicole Smith PREGNANT? - - yet another celeb to add to the list of Those-Who-Should-Not-Procreate™
• Speaking of celebs who should not procreate - Tom Cruise gets jiggy

That’s it - I do believe we are up to date here at Diva Dish. I’ll try not to make these absences a regular thing . . . life gets in the way sometimes!

Thought we would join in the Thursday Thirteen fun this week - with a Diva Twist. Instead of 13 things directly about Me - I have thirteen celebrity facts I’ve run across this week and found to be interesting:

1. Here’s on for the ladies - it seems that Kevin Costner is a bit of an exhibitionist. That news alone is enough to make my day. Allegedly, while getting a massage at a posh spa, Costner grabbed the spa worker while she was giving him a massage, then dropped his towel and masturbated. The worker complained and she GOT FIRED! Now that is wrong, wrong, wrong!
2. Keira Knightley has taken the place of Kate Moss as the new face for French fashionhouse Coco Chanel perfume. Kate Moss lost the deal last year when tabloids printed pictures of the lovely lady with her nose full of cocaine. That’ll do it - - Just Say NO!
3. Angelina Jolie announced that she is not quite 8 months preggers - contradicting tabloid reports that she is about to ‘pop any day now’. You needed that tid bit to complete your day, right?
4. Michelle Rodriguezlands in jail after being convicted of a DUI. When faced with the choice of 100 hours of community service or 5 days in jail, Rodriguez chose jail. Her blood alcohol was 0.17–more than twice the legal limit. This is not her first arrest - A hit and run in 2004, while driving with a suspended license. Three seperate speeding violations in 2005. At some point, you just should hire a driver. I’m just sayin’!
5. Michael Jackson is looking to hook up with rapper 50 Cent on a collaborative effort. I don’t know, I’m going to assume the effort is to remind the world that once upon a time he, too, was black.
6. Maury Povich is being sued for sexual harassement. No woman should have to endure harassement of the sexual kind - - but coming from Maury Povich? It should be a FELONY!
7. Covered on this blog already earlier this week - but it’s worth saying again: Britney is pregnant again. I don’t know why this upsets me so much - - I’d really love to see her drop KFed completely… and here she is having his second spawn. Birth control, people. Birth Control!
8. How do YOU make a quick million in Hollywood? Get famous. Get pregnant. Sell your baby pictures. That, folks, is a one million dollar return on investment in 9 months! You CANNOT do that well on Wall Street!
9. Paris Hilton has won an UGLY award. It’s about damn time, I say! Poor Paris
10. Al Pacino joins the cast of Oceans 13. This is a great move for the Oceans folks. Returning actors include: George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Andy Garcia, Don Cheadle, Bernie Mac, as well as new leading lady Ellin Barkin. Julia Roberts is not returning to Oceans
11. Michael Jackson look-alike, Terri Hatcher got injured on the set of Desperate Housewives - right eye was injured when a light bulb exploded. Hope she’s ok!
12. John Lennon speaks from the grave in a Pay-Per-View seance that claims contact with Lennon. Seriously, if they are going to televise a seance - - I want to hear from Elvis to debunk all those lads in Vegas claiming to be him!
13. Celebrity birthdays today: Actor Jack Klugman is 84, Announcer Casey Kasem is 74, Guitarist Ace Frehley (Kiss) is 55, Singer Sheena Easton is 47

Nicolette Sheirdan and Michael Bolton have recorded a duet of The Second Time Around for Bolton’s new CD, Bolton Swings Sinatra, in stores May 23.

Did they have to??

“The second time around is a big deal for us,” Bolton says from South Korea, where he has been performing some of the Frank Sinatra standards on his CD from Concord Records and Bolton’s Passion Music label.

I’m afraid, I’m very afraid. It’s sweet, though - isn’t it? Kind of smooshy romantic, in it’s own way. - Via US Magazine