Isn’t this story just TOO good to give up? I’m having waayyy too much fun with this!

For a fun Thursday Thirteen twist this week (even though this is actually Friday) - Here’s 13 events on Brit and Kevin’s Wild Ride thus far - in short summary form:

1. Sept. 18, 2004: Marries Federline, 26.
2. May 2005: Spears and Federline star in their own UPN reality show, “Britney and Kevin: Chaotic,” featuring private home videos.
3. Sept. 14, 2005: Gives birth to Sean Preston Federline.
4. Feb. 7: Photos of Spears driving her car with infant son Sean Preston on her lap are published. Authorities visit home to investigate.
5. April 1: Sean Preston falls from his high chair; authorities return to her home.
6. May 9: Confirms second pregnancy on “Late Night With David Letterman.”
7. May 19: Almost drops baby in stumble in front of media as she holds child in one hand and glass of water in another. Later seen in tears.
8. June 15: In a wide-ranging, rambling interview with Matt Lauer on “Dateline,” a pregnant Spears says her marriage is “awesome,” blames media scrutiny for making her an “emotional wreck.” Later mocked for incessant gum chewing, sobbing, and overdone makeup.
9. June 29: Appears nude on cover of Harper’s Bazaar.
10. Sept. 12: Gives birth to another baby boy, declines to release name.
11. October 31: Appears Federline’s debut album. It does not top the charts.
12. Nov. 6: Newly trim Spears appears on “Late Night With David Letterman” sans wedding ring.
13. Nov. 7: Files for divorce.

So she informs him of the divorce via text message - which is classic and perfect! WHILE he’s taping a LIVE television interview - - serves him right. Can I see a show of hands that divorce was KFeds ultimate goal the whole time? A divorce from Brit could prove lucrative - - we’ll have to see how much water that prenup holds!

Funnily enough - KFed can’t catch a break at all! At his recent “concert” (and I use that term as loosely as possible) - a very desperate KFed can’t even GIVE the tickets away! at the House of Blues in Chicago - - after a very depressing 20% turnout the prior weekend in New York.

T]he crowd was pretty much wasted–there was a whole group of people dressed up AS K-Fed who could barely stand up by the time he actually came onstage. But when he did, the place went a little nuts. After a few songs, a some people were shouting Britney’s name and some guys were shouting FED-EX and had signs. Eventually, the guy K-Fed raps with said, “Yeah, we have FedEx accounts… and for all you haters, thanks for supporting our cause!” At which point the place erupted in laughter because NOBODY PAID FOR THEIR TICKETS! It was like a $2 “convenience fee” or something, but HoB was giving them away online. Kevin also made some crack about “keeping the Ferrari,” which illuminated a rather sad aspect of his whole show–the guy’s got a TON of lyrics about his high-spending lifestyle. Which the entire world knows is now OVER … He and the guy he raps with were both inviting everybody to the afterparty at Cabaret (I hope you get a report from that… yikes), and Kevin made a few remarks about the fine ladies of Chicago, how we should come to the party because he’s a free man now. Stay away! The world doesn’t need more K-Fed offspring! K-Fed started getting a little agitated, it seemed, toward the end of the show. I think people were yelling stuff at him, and there were definitely projectiles–beer cans, a sweatshirt, a blown up condom balloon bouncing around. Everybody was pretty much egging him on and heckling him all night.

Ha!

In reponse to Brit’s divorce filing - KFed responded with seeking sole legal custody of his kids - along with spousal support. In coming days, Federline and his lawyer will have to decide whether to contest the couple’s prenuptial agreement, as well as negotiate a temporary support and custody arraignment.

Funny note - their “arrangement” states that KFed is able to keep any money recieved off the sales of any pictures, photos or videos of the two of them, or their family. This weekend, Brit gave away pictures of her new baby boy, Jayden James, for FREE - - stopping any plans Federline had for selling or profiting off those pictures in any way. How’s that for a final bitch slap in the face.

In all seriousness? I feel sorry for those two kids, quite honestly. It sounds like they are in for one helluva custody battle - and what kid needs to go through that? I really hope Britney can get her shizz together after these last two years of completely and total stupidity. I hope she stays out of the dating game - - concentrates mostly on raising her kids and cleans up her life a bit. Hey Brit - there ain’t no do overs!

As for KFed? His Post-Britney Outlook is pretty bleak!

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For the Thirteeners out there - - and the curious Thirteeners: